One Experience, Two Perspectives

Back in January I opened an email that told me I’d secured a ballot place in The CCC – A mountain race that is part of the Ultra Trail World Tour (UTWT). I shit myself. I was scared. Why? because this is a race that spans 3 countries over 100km, >6,000m of elevation gain and has a strict 26 hour time limit to complete it. That, is The CCC!. Luckily by this point I’d met some amazing trail runners who were there to support me. Jana, who will also be doing the race this year after having to defer entry from last year, and Yvette, who soon volunteered to crew me. I’ve also received much support from Jack and Maggie who have both also completed this gruelling challenge.

After much persuasion, Yvette convinced me to get out to the Alps and experience the course. I’m going to write separately about some learnings from the ‘recce’, but for now I shall recap the weekend. A weekend I’d planned around covering as much of the course as possible, whilst not taking any time off work. I’m wise like that.

The plan seemed straightforward enough – Fly to Chamonix (France) after work on Friday, stay overnight before getting a bus to Courmayeur (Italy), running approximately 40km to La Fouly (Switzerland), staying overnight before running another 40km to Vallorcine (France) in time to get the last train back to Chamonix. I’d then fly back to London first thing on Monday to go straight to work. Simple.

The plan made sense to me. Yvette did all the hard work in arranging the accommodation and logistics. I set my mind to breaking down the run based on the actual route of The CCC, checking the regulations and timings of the different checkpoints I’ll experience on race day. This is when I first saw the flaws in my plan. It was going to be very tight! The weekend was about the experience and that also means enjoyment. I was now introducing an element of pressure by setting time targets we simply had to meet, (If we didn’t make it to La Fouly in time, we wouldn’t get to sleep, if we didn’t make it to Vallorcine in time, we’d be stranded and face an expensive taxi back!), these targets were based on the cut-off times to be allowed to leave the checkpoints and continue the race. I was confident it would be OK, Yvette was a little concerned, and rightly so – I’d been training for this. She hadn’t. Regardless, it was the only plan we had.

ccc plan
The plan: Get to CP 4 on day 1 and CP 7 on Day 2. Simple.

So here is how the plan unfolded and the adventure that we went on, one experience, from two different perspectives….

Day 1

We were supposed to get to Chamonix well before midnight. Rest up ready to tackle the run. Severe weather in Geneva though meant our flight was delayed by over two hours. There was one final transport bus from Geneva to Chamonix departing at 23:59. As we disembarked the plane at 23:45 we were already deflated and acceptance of the almighty taxi expense we were facing. Dammit. This wasn’t on my expected list of issues we’d possibly encounter. Having been to Chamonix numerous times before, Yvette rushed me to where the bus normally departs. It was 00:06. Remarkably it was still there. Our deflated emotions picked up as Yvette caught the attention of the driver as he was climbing into the cabin. Some pointless and aggressive gesturing later, he let us on to the bus. Crisis averted. Yvette to the Rescue.

Nearing 02:00 we arrived in Chamonix and made our way to the lodge, let ourselves in per the instructions left and proceeded to arrange our bags and get ready to depart. With an 08:30 bus to catch we’d be up at 07:00. Geez, we were going to be shattered. Before we knew it, the alarms were buzzing, we were bumping into each other trying to turn them off. Quick breakfast of champions (two twinkie type cakes and a coffee) and we were off. We left out bags in the storage (we’d stop here again on Sunday night also) and took with us everything we’d need to be autonomous for 2 days of running (with the expectation of a meal in Switzerland later that night!).

Yvette: Successfully passing through security with our poles packed in the hand luggage, we faced a 2-hour delay. This meant missing our 10:30pm EasyBus pick up and potentially missing the very last bus of the day heading into Chamonix. Not a great start to our trip. Once we made it through Geneva passport control, it was already after midnight, but we tried our chances and rushed to the bus station hoping to see the tacky orange rundown looking EasyBus. Wahoo…it was still there. Relief! Finally arriving at Chamonix at 1:45am, feeling very sleepy walked to Chamonix Lodge, darkness everywhere apart from the odd streetlight. Pretty certain Dai asked what that dark thing in the distance was…err it’s the silhouette of a mountain. Not sure if he was messing with me or if he was genuinely clueless and baffled (Dai: Just ignorantly naïve!). We prepared our gear and went to bed at 3am.

Our bags were heavy and stuffed full. Yvette’s more than mine as she’d borrowed a bigger bag from Jon. We arrived in Courmayuer and set about finding some bread for the journey. There was only one thing we could do to carry it – flatten it and stick it in an elastic side pocket on my Montane Jaws race pack. This was going to get sweaty! A quick pause to take in the village, a picture taken by a local and we started ‘running’. I say ‘running’, it wouldn’t be for another 5 hours that we’d do any actual running!

the start
The start in Courmayeur

On leaving Courmayeur, the first 10km is all up hill, or up mountain rather! Starting at about 1200m, you run along the steady inclines as the roads wind up until Ermitage (1500m) before the trails begin. From here the path takes us into a forest trail and the climb continues until it opens onto the bare mountain at Suche Damon (about 5km in and 1800m up). We’d been following the GPX on the Sunnto watches, and so far, so good. Carrying on around the path though we were soon deviating from the route. Tracking back and searching around the building revealed no other routes. I was confused. Back and forth we went before eventually a local runner came down from the path. Yvette knew enough Italian to have a conversation and he led us back to the building and directed us through the outhouses to a path. How confusing! This worried me a little, the ease at which we were lost.

Yvette: First 20min of the CCC route takes you along the residential streets before you hit the forest. I don’t think there was one point where we ran this; it was a long uphill road. Then as you enter the forest you realise how steep it quickly gets. Despite having the GPX route on our watches it was still confusing knowing which way to go, and immediately we couldn’t make out whether we had go through someone’s back garden or continue along this trail path which did not look right according to our watches. I took the opportunity to ask a runner coming towards us and in my broken Spanish/Italian managed to figure out that we did have to go behind the house.

smiles at the start
All Smiles at the start

Onward we continued, and the path required us to climb down and cross several glacier streams. I’ve never seen anything like this before. The Ice carved into the mountain, frozen solid but leaking water underneath. I soon slipped on my arse. Luckily no damage was done but a wakeup call served!

Yvette: We reached a section where you cross over rocks with water flowing through it. Not sure how, but Dai slipped and fell on his arse, not quite so gracefully, but had to laugh.

wood
What is this?

As the climb continued, the path again opened, and we were presented with some incredible views. There was also this wooden structure from times gone by. It was a great photo opportunity, but I genuinely do not know what it is (any ideas?). Continuing on, we misread some signs and ran the wrong way. Only we hadn’t realised for quite some time and, once again, some other runners and Yvette’ Italian came to our rescue and took us back to the signs. We struggled to keep up with them running back down but did have time for a quick chat. One of them revealed he has entered The CCC 5 times and failed to complete it 5 times! He claimed it was the mental challenge the beats him. Again, worried? Yeah, a bit! Anyway, with an extra little climb added to our trek, we continued, being sure to keep to the left path and the next intersection as advised.

leading us the wrong way
Don’t trust me, I’m pointing in the wrong direction!

We were now facing a climb of about 600m over 2km. It was steep! It was vast and open with a dirt trail littered with rocks and boulders, winding its way up the side of the mountain. I powered on ahead of Yvette and had my mind focused on the summit. I reached it. It wasn’t the summit. Damn.  I’d actually reached Col Sapin at 2435m. This was an intersection of many paths and mine would continue up further to 2571m and Tete de la tronche. Oh well. As I continued I past several other hikers doing the TMB (Tour du Mont Blanc – an 11-day trek of the region) and I chatted with an American Mum and daughter. Whilst I waited at the top for Yvette I messed around with some Instagram stories, my own sort of video journal of the trip. It mostly involved swearing. I’d just climbed over 1200m across a 10km.

The views at the top were breath-taking. I could see down into the distance and the path we’d take. A nice steady downhill all the way to the Refuge where the first checkpoint would be. The weather was suddenly questionable, but the waterproofs stayed in the bag. Finally, after 4 hours we could run.

Yvette: On track, we then came to the first beastly climb, Tete de la Tronche (2584m), winding up, a slow hike to the top, with my head down and not focusing on where Dai was (he was like a little tiny black dot in the distance getting further away from me, damn him!) finally made it. As the saying goes, ‘the best view comes after the hardest climbs’ and it certainly didn’t disappoint. A few videos and selfies (including a peeing with a view pic in the middle of the mountains, standard) we could see the weather starting to change, spitting rain it was time to move and head to Bertone. What was really cool was seeing where the trail path continued from Tete de la Tronche. You could trace it with your finger right across the mountain until it disappeared.

running to CP1
Finally freedom to run.

We hit the Refuge Bertone (1970m) shortly after and it was full of people on their TMB treks. We refuelled on the soggy (sweaty!) bread (on which I nearly choked inhaling it!) and set off again. On to the second Refuge on our path. We left after nearly 5 hours which was pretty much bang on my target for this weekend. Not bad considering we’d stopped a few times and been lost twice! As we ran we soon started passing people we’d spoken too at Bertone. There was some cool stone structure someone had built, and we passed the mum and daughter again coming back from another path that they would have taken at Col Sapin.

To our left were more incredible scenes of the mountains and the valley as we ran along the path Strada Del Villair. Eventually a short uphill climb took us to what I called “The Pub” – Refuge Bonatti (2025m). More refuelling and a moment to compose ourselves. We filled our water from the water fountain. It was so cold and refreshing. It was and is the best water I’ve ever had. I can’t wait to have more of this when I go back. Next on our list was Arounouz (Arnuova di Mezzo, 26km done and 2000m). Along the way we passed several derelict buildings and many river streams to cross. A few were fortunate to have wooden bridges over the. The route was still fairly flat but single track and we encountered a lot of people we needed to pass. Of all the people though, we weren’t expecting to see 3 young boys. They asked us the time (it was nearing 6pm) and we were a little concerned that they were heading in the opposite direction to us and were dressed in nothing but shorts and cotton shirts.

Arnuova Di Mezzo wasn’t open. We sensed now would be a good time to put some layers on. It was getting very windy and overcast. Out came my bum and willy on the mountain as I squeezed into my Skins leggings. Just as we were layering it started raining, Phew. Well played. I was pleased with myself. As we were doing so, the 3 young boys reappeared, again asking the time. We questioned them. They were local. We followed them down the path, winding down to Arnuova Desot (1780m) which is where the 3rd checkpoint will be on the CCC. At the bottom there was a party. Two drunk men had starting the climb looking for the kids. We assured them they were just behind us and they were grateful. The locals sure are relaxed about the mountain! With the Rock tunes blasting, Yvette did a little trail dance and we charged our watches. Next up was the climb to Grand Col Ferret (2537m) and the crossing to Switzerland!

Layering Up
Layering Up!

Yvette: The route between CP1 – CP3 is so runnable you can make up for lost time. The weather changed quickly, temperature dropped and started to rain. Dai with his weatherman predictions was right to make the call on chucking some extra layers on and wearing waterproofs. Out of the blue we came across 3 kids, they weren’t wearing any sort of hiking gear and what was stranger, they were alone. No sign of parents or some older, responsible looking adult. They were dressed up in smart shirts and fashion trainers. As we made our way down, we could hear music, then 2 men appeared on the trails, dressed in suits, both quite drunk and smoking cigars. It was obvious they were looking for the 3 boys. There was some kind of big party, sounded like they were playing Queen’s Greatest Hits album. Had a bit of a dance as we walked by, banging out some air guitar moves, Dai looking at me like I’m crazy.

Arounzouz
Can’t argue with that!

The beginning of the climb was another open and steep trek. The sound of cow bells rang strong and we saw a field(?) full of cows and bulls which we’d have to walk through. There was a farmer at the top sitting chatting on his phone. As we walked and joked about the smell of shit, we saw a pool of manure, and as we passed it stared to gush with fresh shit from the buildings. lovely. The smell really was horrific. Around the building we went and to a steeper climb that was very exposed. Then we stopped to layer again as it was starting to rain. Carrying on up we took the decision to stop again and put every layer that we could, up ahead there were dark clouds forming and within seconds we could see nothing. very limited visibility to just metres ahead of us. We powered on. Yvette was focusing on the ‘plinth’ she’d read about at the summit. I arrived first. It was very cold and very windy up top. We stayed a very short time, long enough for a few photos and then we were on the move.

Yvette: Our next big bastard of a climb lay ahead of us, 754m climb with 2537m total elevation and approx. 32km into the CCC route. This would also be the point in which we’d cross the border onto the Swiss side. Clouds were rolling in fast and visibility pretty much zero, Dai who was always ahead of me by about 5 minutes or so disappeared into the mist. It was kind of spooky. All I could see was the path in front of me for a few meters, with no idea where it was leading to and how much further I had to climb until I reached the summit of Grande Col Ferret or where he had wondered off to. I just kept thinking, surely that bloody signpost on a rock that I’d seen on Google images and blogs is around here somewhere. There it is, made it!! Damn I wanted to hug that rock. I bowed to it and rested on it. It felt great knowing we smashed the 2 biggest climbs in 1 day. Hugging and smiling, and a quick selfie to remember the moment we didn’t delay and carried on. Shame about the clouds as we missed out on the panoramic views from the top.

We knew it was downhill from here for about 10k towards La Fouly. The freedom to run was immense. Our bags were so light at this point as we were wearing everything. It was a great feeling. We were full of energy as we’d not run much yet and had great fun running the trails. We were the only people on this section. It was liberating. All around us the views were amazing as the mountains were scattered with white snow and glaciers punctuating the green slopes. As we got lower we winded down and through some fields and saw some villages in the distance with street lights flickering through the trees. We felt close. Maybe 15-20 mins away. It was starting to rain and we were thinking of food and sleep. Then we hit our first real obstacle. A cow in the path. We tried unsuccessfully to move them along. Nothing happened.  A slow walk. More cows. Then a bull step forward. Fuck. 38km in and still 2000m, up we didn’t know what to do. It was as if the cow had told the bull we’d done something. The evil stare was very intimidating. He wouldn’t move. Yvette wasn’t comfortable. We checked the map. The path would continue and then U-turn around the cows and the buildings. So, we took the dodgy decision to leave the path and cut the corner. Downhill through vegetation. It was very risky, but slowly we successfully descended and re-joined the path.

path of the cows
Cows in the way!

Yvette: Trying to pick up some pace on the downhill, we had 3miles to go, when we come to a sudden halt and saw a cow on the trail path. A big cow! Literally blocking it. Munching away on grass, it turned its head to look at us and then continued munching away totally ignoring us. We were shooing it, waving arms around to move it on and I was clapping. Nothing. What a stubborn cow. I kept telling Dai not to go too close, he was as stubborn as the cow not listening to me. You just don’t know how these animals would react. For some reason I was a little scared, so I was looking around to find another way to cut across. Thankfully the cow slowly plodded down the path, and as it moved off the path we then noticed this black bull further down blocking it. Fs!!! It had sharp horns and just stared at us. Dai was determined to walk towards it but I wasn’t chancing it. Plus, I realised I had a bright red Salomon vest pack on. Bulls charge when they see red right!!? I mean I was a target to them. Just like the running of the bulls/bullfighting, they see bright red/pink moving around and they practically blow smoke out of their nostrils ready to charge. I did not fancy being chased by a bull, not that I would have had anywhere to run to but uphill on dead legs. Dai said that was a myth and that it wouldn’t happen. Whatever! We couldn’t stay there all day, we were wasting time, and so I made the call to cut through an overgrown grassy section going down a steep hill. I think, this the only point in our trip where we had a disagreement as he warned me not to go down there, it was too risky. I didn’t listen (ok, we’re both stubborn) and with my poles, poked the ground to see where it was stable and made my way down. The path was looping around to the right anyway, so it I would reach the same path eventually. I left Dai behind me, and he would either follow me or somehow negotiate with the bull and get through. He decided to follow me. Ha-ha.

Down into a forest we ran, our energy levels drained. We were soaked through from the vegetation and continuous rain. Darkness was setting in. We thought we were close so didn’t get our torches out. It took longer than expected though for us to reach La Fouly. As we continued further we went off the path and emerged onto the main road. Checking where we were looking for the accommodation. It must be close. Sign spotted. It was done. Nearly 10pm and very dark. We walked up the hill (dammit) and found the hotel. It was all closed. A message to Yvette to “let ourselves in”. A room with no key. Shared showers. No towels. Fuck that’s annoying, a shower was second on our “most wanted” list after food.

food.jpg

We headed straight out for food. Everywhere was closed (it was 22:30 in a very small village after all). The one open bar agreed to sort us out with something. They offered us some cold cuts. I was very happy with that. We ordered one each along with a pint of coke. When it turned up, it was massive! The most packed cold cut plate ever with fruit, nuts and cheese. It was epic! Yvette was struggling to eat but I couldn’t stop. We stumbled back to the hotel, had a shower (and a pat dry!) and went to bed. It was gone midnight, we’d be starting it all again in the morning. We wanted to leave by 8am….

Yvette: Out of the mountains and onto the road we reached Maja Joie hotel at 10pm, pretty dark. They had left a sign on the door we managed to figure out that we could go straight to our room, there was no key. Weird. Dumped our vest packs, didn’t bother to shower and went straight out to find anything that was open. We followed the sounds of people laughing and music playing. A place called Auberge des Glaciers. Everyone was getting on it, and we turned up looking sweaty, tired, dirty, smelly, and dazed. Annoyingly the kitchen had shut, and despite begging he said there was nothing he could do. Our eyes moved towards the crisps and nuts hanging behind the bar, if there was nothing else available, we had a backup plan at least. I would just opt for every crisp flavour and a pint of coke for dinner. He mentioned another place further up the road, somehow my legs moved quicker than my brain and I sprinted to this other restaurant. Ergh damn, kitchen closed. Rushed back to Auberge des Glaciers, ready to buy every crisp packet they owned, the man could see how hungry and desperate we were to eat. Knowing we had run 41km from Courmayeur, he felt sorry for us and said he could serve us cold meats and bread. Perfect!!! How many platters he asked….’we’ll take two’!!!


That pint of coke tasted so fucking good! I’ve been hearing how coke is the way forward for post long runs, or even flat coke in the last stages of an ultra-race. Something about the sugar, caffeine and carbs that reenergises your body with a boost and settles the stomach. I don’t drink fizzy drinks at all but if this is part of recovery and feeling human again, I’ll try it. The platters came out; yep it was obviously a sharing dish looking at the size of it. I took one bite of bread and I swear it took me 5-10min to chew on it before I could swallow. I had no saliva to break it down, I felt slightly nauseous. I was hungry, my body was screaming for food, but I just couldn’t eat it. I was watching Dai and he was demolishing that platter. He’d finished it while I was still on the same piece of bread!

Day 2

07:00, the alarms are ringing. It’s time to get up and go. First stop, the breakfast bar. We head down stairs to the packed dining area where there is a table laid out with Yvette’s name. We chat to the Hotel staff and sort all the admin before tucking into another breakfast of champions. We have bread. Dry bread. Toasted bread. Just bread. But lots of coffee too. As all the other hikers gear up and head out we are lagging behind, it’s 08:30 before we make our escape. Ahead of the plan, behind the intention. But we are out.

 

The first 10km of the day is a nice and steady run. After leaving the road in La Fouly we hit a path along river that was rocky, but downhill. It was a busy section as we caught up with all the morning hikers setting off on their journeys. On Occasion we needed to pass several large groups, everyone was in good spirit though. We were fresh and smiley, the rest had worked wonders and the crisp morning air was a delight to breathe. I was conscious of the terrain. Whilst flat and downhill, the rocky paths were a slight concern, it could well be that I might be running this section in the dark next time. That could be hazardous. I was recalculating my ability to get this section covered before the sun goes down next time!

Swiss Villages
Swiss Villages like Praz De Fort were beautiful to run through

About 7km into the run the path took a sharp turn and opened into a beautiful elevated path lined with trees either side. It was like a tunnel of nature. It felt endless as we ran through, the morning light piercing through the gaps in the leaves. As we came out the other side we ran through the Swiss villages of Praz De Fort, Los Araches and Issert. These villages were quaint with wooden cabins, lush gardens and quirky decorations (Gnome village!). After running through nature for so long it was a weird sensation to be on the road and weaving through picturesque man-made structures. The villages were small and soon came to an end, as did the running. It was time to begin the first of 3 climbs this day, we were re-entering the Forrest and the Sentier Des Champignons (~1480m) that would lead to Champex-Lac.

forest path
I Loved this section!

The trail is littered with wooden carvings, some representing creatures of the forest, some were mythical. All were unique and special. The path was undulating and occasionally we could run, skipping and jumping the tree roots as we went. We interchanged with a group of other runners, joking occasionally as we passed. Laughing as the group stopped one of their runners from eating a bunch of berries she’d picked from a tree!

Wooden Carvings
Creatures of the Forest

Yvette: 9am start and 14km to the next destination, CP5 Champex-Lac. Perfect flat trails to start off with, easy on the legs, beautiful section through the woods, took us through a quiet village in Praz De Fort, charming wooden cabins. Then as you arrive to Issert, the 3rd out the 6 climbs begins. The route takes you through a steep forest path; this is when you see wooden carved sculptures every few meters, quite amusing. I think I stopped paying attention to it while Dai made the effort to take photos. I just wanted to reach the top. I think by this point, I was getting frustrated with the running vest pack. It was weighing me down (I may have carried more than I needed to) and starting to rub my skin. No matter how much I tightened the straps it would become lose and bounce too much. My mood started to drop a bit.

We briefly met the runners again as we arrived at the bottom of Champex-Lac and said our goodbyes. As we entered the town, we saw the lake – Lac De Champex – we’d heard so much about. It was beautiful. We stopped briefly to admire the scene and soon pushed on after I challenged our timings. We had a long day ahead and a tight time frame to make the bus! It is true that I was pushing Yvette. She hadn’t enjoyed the climb and I was conscious it would be difficult if the negative thoughts consumed her focus so early on. She’s so strong and led us off again, around the lake and through the town, where a local event/festival was taking place. There was music and food and all sorts of entertainment. We were offered what looked like Vodka shots which we were happy to decline!

Champex Lac
A different Kind of View!

Yvette: We reached Champex-Lac (first of the assisted checkpoints) and I remember from a blog I read that you would run beside this beautiful lake. That it was. Stopped for a moment, refuelled beside some Harley Davidson bikers. The town was buzzing, some festival event with market stalls and such a nice vibe I could have chilled here for a bit. Dai would always check up on me, and I guess he was also aware that I had never run this far before and I think he noticed in my eyes and the expression on my face that I was slightly off. It wasn’t so much my feet or legs, thankfully. Dai would reassure me, would offer to swap vests, hug me and give me a bit of encouragement. He didn’t have to tell me, but I knew what he was thinking and trying to say. “Snap out of it, we need to stick to the plan and keep going. There is no way out now. We have a train to catch so work those little legs”. He was pushing but I needed that push.

We were presented with a short downhill along some wide trails for a brief rest before the start of the second climb. The ground was again rocky, and we took a moment to stop and refuel (I was expecting the climb imminently, but we still had some way to go). And then it begun. in the peak of midday, the sun shining high, the heavy sweats of the power hike would take over as we made our way up to Refuge Bovine at 1987m…

The climb started off on a wide paved road and we passed many hikers in both directions. Then the incline started. Some incredible views climbing a gravel path. We passed a lot of people. Behind us the views were vast, mountains and glaciers as far as we could see. As the path turned and the incline increased we paused to absorb the views. Then, far away in the distance we saw hikers climbing. They were a looooong way up. It looked like it would take an age to reach where they were. We continued with our power hike, crossing several streams flowing down the mountain side (at one point a wide section of the path was submerged) and were momentarily disheartened as a runner ran past (fair play, he was nailing this!). We continued climbing, stopping every few turns to catch our breath and swear. Eventually we reached that point where we were the ‘people high in the distance’, which surprisingly didn’t take us as long as I thought it would.

people in the distance
We came from down below my right shoulder!

The path opened into more, lush green vegetation and fields as we continued upward. The sound of cowbells ringing in the distance grew ever so slightly louder, until we passed a small wooden cow shack. Then you could really hear the cow bells. After last night’s encounter I was slightly worried and also for Yvette, she was a little way behind me. As I reached the top I could see a larger building, packed with hikers, a restaurant. Besides the hikers, were bulls. tens of them, everywhere, amongst the people. This was daunting. I slowly walked passed as they eyed me up. They were very tame though, most just sitting there, enjoying the sun. I went and sat down in the tabled area to await Yvette (whom I almost missed as she appeared so quickly!). We spent a good 15 minutes eating, drinking (more fresh, cold water!) and admiring the bulls. We then set off again, threading between the bulls and climbing what remained of the path to the top, where the next downhill section would begin. We were ready to run again!

Yvette: There was refuge called Alpage de Bovine, surrounded by cows. These ones had a ginger mullet, I stood next to one and only then realised the size of these bells hanging from their necks!! They were like 5kg kettlebells. As we took a break, this cow walks over towards me, gets a little too close to the fence, curious, almost touching me. I jumped up to move away and said to Dai “Seeeee it’s the red vest’”. He rolled his eyes at me.

The run down was very technical. There were a load of people on the path and large rocks and routes to navigate. It was an instant quad burner and the legs were on fire, but as with the previous day and morning, the freedom to run after the power hiking was a much-welcomed relief. By now I was appreciating the need to run when the opportunity presented itself. If I’m to make the cut-offs during the CCC I’ll need to make the time up on the downhills and flats!

I waited at the bottom, we were just outside of Trient (1285m). The walking signs indicated 30mins, so it shouldn’t take us long. We used the moment here where we had phone signal to make some arrangements and estimates for our evening arrival, and for me to film and load more stories to the ‘Gram! Before long we arrived at a campsite and took the opportunity to again refuel, drink the always present cold water and use the facilities on site. There was one mountain left to climb (and about 10km to go). It looked the steepest of them all, a right fucking bitch to overcome…

Last climb
up there we go

 

TTree
What a tree

The climb certainly felt like the steepest climb. We only saw one person all the way to the top (He powered past, coming out of nowhere with an epic power hike!). Initially I thought the route was taking us straight up the mountain. Maybe I was delusional and imagining the paths ahead, but thankfully there were switch backs leading up and up. There was this a amazing tree which caught my attention, initially I noticed the criss-cross texture before realising there were no branches. It was solid and tall and stood out amongst the others. Looking back, it formed an exception view with the mountains in the backdrop. I waited for Yvette, making sure she saw this tree!

Up I continued. It wasn’t walking or hiking really. It was more an endless session of deep lunging. This was definitely the steepest of the climbs. I was ready for the summit before we’d barely begun. Up ahead, straining my neck I saw some mountain bikers. They were heading down. I understood the word “cinq”, the lead biker was indicating there were 5 more to come. Ok Ok, I understood his hand gesture, not the language.

final climb
The final climb came with exceptional views!

The summit (Catogne, 2050m) never felt like appearing. Eventually though the path flattened and to my right were sensational views. I carried on a little and tested the path, it was beginning to descend. So I tracked back and intended to enjoy the views and recharge my watch and wait for Yvette. I’d barely sat down before she arrived. She was emotional, we rested and absorbed everything our eyes could see (including Barage d’Emosson in the distance which was a real confusion for the eyes, to see a dam so high and so far away). The joy of knowing we were one downhill and less than 10km from the end was sensational. So onward we went, one more time, all downhill.

Yvette: This was our final climb of the recce route; I can’t actually tell you if this was harder than the other climbs. I lost sight of Dai…again. I kept looking up wondering if I was close to the top, nope…stop looking up…keep going. This was the pattern throughout the route; now and again you would be teased into thinking that the highest point was so close but then it would continue winding further up. Legs were dangling a bit! I’m sure at one point I hallucinated, but I looked up and saw a dark shadow of a person for a few seconds and then suddenly disappeared. I’m sure it was Dai having one final look down to see if I was close.

I then found Dai perched on the edge of a rock. That was actually quite a memorable moment to capture. Your eyes are usually fixed to the ground as you run, rarely getting a moment to look up and admire your surroundings. That was one thing we took the time to do, we made sure to stop and take photos and just embrace the unbelievable views. It’s the only chance Dai had to appreciate the route he’ll be racing. Plus from La Fouly to Chamonix he will be running this section in the dark and by the time he gets to Chamonix it’ll be sunrise. We had 10min to sit together and look around us. I think I had another cry in front of him. With 6km to go until we arrived at Vallorcine, it was all downhill to the end.

Momentarily I had a mild (internal) panic as I saw a path going up. It suddenly felt like we hadn’t submitted, but thankfully as we neared a sign we were directed away from the peak, we had indeed reached the highest point (circa 2070m) on this section and would be continuing down. Ahead of us, all around we could see beautiful paths weaved into the mountains. We were energised, light footed and excited. We bounded down and before long hit a section of wider gravel switchbacks. They weren’t too rocky, but they sure were hard underfoot!

The path to Vallorcine
The path back down to Vallorcine

Another sign saw us eventually take a step off the path, we were entering Then a turn into the green forest – Foret Verte. The ground was softer here. But no easier to run as it was so uneven. Then, out of nowhere a sense was triggered, one that felt forgotten on this run, one that had become a repetition of wind, cowbells and the thumping of our feet hitting the ground, we heard a sound. A hoot hoot. A train. A fucking Train. Yes. We were close. Very close. We were so far ahead of schedule, we’d be home before we knew it now.

Green forest
The Green Forest

We came to the end of our journey soon after, a bridge symbolised our finish as we’d walk from here across the road and to the station. Time for a hug, hi-five and a quick trail dance. We were done. We were well ahead of last train but unsure as to how frequent they might be. We had just mussed on of course. it was 17:59 as we reached the station and Yvette saw the lights go out inside the ticket room. She kept knocking the window until answered. The kind lady advised the next train was due in any minute and we could buy tickets onboard. Result. We walked around to the platform and like perfect harmony the train arrived. We were so happy.

Yvette: We did it! Dai did his celebratory trail dance. We completed 83km of the CCC route just before 6pm, and we were ahead of schedule by approx. 1hr 30, according to the last train. Day 1 – 41.5km, took us 12hrs and Day 2 – 41.5km, took us 9.5hrs. Vallorcine is the final assisted checkpoint and with 19km remaining, we’d be reunited again at Chamonix where he’ll cross that finish line. There was a train arriving as soon as we got to the station, perfect timing! Back to Chamonix.

Trail Dance
Finish with a Trail Dance

It was now back to Chamonix, time to check in, collect our bags again, go out get some food and meet with Jana, Maggie and Ali who’d been out running some of the GTR route. As we reached the hotel, we were super excited to find our room had a bath. So of course, a bath was had!

Within the hour we were clean and heading back out. First stop, food (we went to a Pizza restaurant and saw Max, another friend of Yvette’s) and then a stop at “the Pub” to collect a present for Jana. Finally, half an hour later than we agreed, we arrived at the hotel to meet the others. We shared stories of our journeys. Received advice from Maggie and feminised about her race last year before accepting it was time to leave. It was nearly midnight and we had a wakeup call for 03:30 to make the flight back to London.

6 Hours later and I’m at my desk in work, many of my colleagues still not in. But I’m smiling, exhausted, but smiling. Acknowledging to myself that this is just the beginning of an epic story!

I can’t thank Yvette enough for this trip. Coaxing me out to the Alps and making me realise I needed this, the arrangements, the positivity and fearlessness of attempting such an adventure and not least the support. Ever since I found out I’m running the CCC she has had my back. I know I’m in safe hands for next month!

 

(Main) Kit I used:

  • Pack: Montane Jaws 10
  • T-Shirt: Montane Via Fang Zip
  • Shorts: Puma Split
  • Trainers: Salomon S-Lab Ultra
  • Waterproof: Montane Minimus Stretch Pull-on
  • Midlayer: Montane  Allez Micro Fleece
  • Trousers: Skins DNAmic Full Length
  • Socks: Inov8 All Terrain
  • Cap: Inov8 All Terrain
  • Hat: Evossi skull Cap

 

 

 

 

“Slapped with a trout…”

6 months have passed. 6 whole months already! It feels like yesterday I first sat down with Daryl and started planning what runs I’d do in 2018. It was all pretty shoddy that first attempt, but shortly afterwards my “12 month challenge” was born, although I can’t remember why I decided to do this.

I thought I’d stop for a moment (not literally though, the running continues) and look back on the first half of the year. Take a look at what the challenge has become, what I’ve achieved, what I’ve learnt (and still haven’t learnt) and generally take stock of what’s to come in the next half of the year…. plus it will save me in 6 months time when I try to remember everything that has gone on and recollect all the adventures and memories!

Running Calendar
2018 in a plan

Firstly the task itself. 12 marathons in 12 months, or at least that is what it started as. I soon realised that road marathons didn’t excite me as much as I thought. As the year got underway I was introduced to trail running and started to do this more and more. I was also greedy, as I’d started sampling the Ultras and being tempted by some of those more exotic races and struggling to say no to some others suggested. In some cases I couldn’t choose between races in the same month, so booked them all. As such I’ve ended up with a year that features 6 marathons and 9 Ultras. It kind of grew out of hand.

So what has been run already? 5 out of 6 of those marathons – Muscat, Malta, Limassol, Brighton and Helsinki. It all kicked off in Oman with an incredible trip (which I still mean to document someday) and a reunion with Angela and Stephane from Myanmar in 2016. I PB’d big time, first in Oman and then in Malta before spectacularly blowing up in Limassol in March. More to come on that later… April saw me run with Alex and embrace the atmosphere of Brighton and I ran Helsinki care-free.

I’ve also now completed a third of the ultras with the challenges of Brecon Beacons Ultra Trail, Race to the Tower and Race to the King all overcome. The Brecon Beacons ultra was particularly grueling and my first real taste of running in the mountains. It’s fair to say I enjoyed it and will need to get used to it as there are more mountains to come in the next half of the year! The Race to the Tower and Race to the King saw me complete the Threshold Trail series and as per race to the Stones last year they were incredibly well organised and a lot of fun.

What have been my highlights so far? let’s break these down…

  • The people – I could go on and on about a lot of people here, those I know closely, those I’ve come to know through Instagram, my family and strangers encountered along the way. But a call out to the old friends reunited through running – Angela and Stephane who I had the company with for a few days out in Oman, and Sandra whom I’d not seen for nearly a decade until Helsinki! Running brings you back together. A shout out to the new friends made on the way, and there are many of them, but Ged – 33 miles shared on the Cotswolds Way…what a great way to meet and get to know someone. And the squad, the crew, the gang that were there when I needed them most. In the darkness of my DNF in Cyrpus Daryl, Brigita, Yvette and Barnadas were there for me. I’ll forever be thankful.
Pre Limassol
Heros! (and of course Brigi behind the camera!)
  • Exploring the UK – I’ve seen very little of the UK in truth. I’ve probably seen more of it in the past 6 months than I have in the 33 years preceding them! It’s no surprise to say you cover a lot of ground when running Ultras. Through a few different races (and general runs) I’ve now spent a fair amount of time down on the South Downs and South East Coast. Race to the King saw me cover a lot of the Cotswolds and at the Brecon Beacons Ultra trail I covered a few laps of, yeah, Brecon! Each place is so different. Each has its own uniqueness and tranquility. I’m looking forward to exploring more. Maybe a venture North should come next?

    Jebel Shams
    Travel experiences like Oman
  • Travelling – It’s always going to sound like a dating app cliche, but I love to travel. I’ve been fortunate to visit nearly 50 different countries and have made some amazing memories along the way. Combining this passion with running has been a great experience. Seeing such amazing cultural differences (such as Oman) and landscapes has been a blessing. Oman, Malta, Cyprus and Finland have all been sampled so far.
  • The lack of training – I don’t “train” anymore. I kid you not. I just run. Is that weird? I’m now in (and have been for a few months) a perpetual state of marathon fitness. Sounds awesome doesn’t it! It’s odd in that its become such a normality that my weekly mileage feels small (somewhere in the 30-40 miles) but its more than enough. I should clarify that, when I say I don’t train, I do actually workout and put effort in (I still go to the Never Stop London Tuesday training sessions and have started going to the Wild Trail Running Monday night sessions for example). What I mean is that I don’t have, nor follow, a routine or plan. There is no tempo session, no hill session, no speed work, no easy run, no long run, no fartlek nor intervals. Every run is just a run. No set mileage, just time on my feet. Each run will vary in distance it is true, but no run has a goal or an aim other than being a run. And most surprisingly of all, this works for me. I’m getting fitter and stronger from ‘just running’. What I particularly like is the freedom it gives me, there is no pressure to miss out because a run doesn’t fit into my ‘plan’ or schedule.
  • The regular experiences – Through others and the Internet I have become involved in several groups. There’s the Cool Cats –  A collective of like minded runners of all sorts organised through Facebook and the amazing Jana. The Never Stop London group – Run by The North Face and through Jack. The Wild Trail Runners headed up by the enigmatic Maggie and the London Burger Runs put on by Tommy ‘Texas T-Dog’. Yeah that’s not his name but whatever. Whenever I can I will go to these runs and events put on by these guys. There are a lot of great people involved and I’m guaranteed to have a smile on my face running/working out with them.
  • The support – Closely linked to the people, I’m constantly amazed by the support and advice I constantly receive. Through the many many people I’m in contact with on Instagram to those I’ve been fortunate to meet and become friends with. There is support everywhere. Nowhere more have I received such support as from Daryl, Jana, Yvette (and her generosity also!), Jack, Alex, Maggie, Jon (and many more, the list really does go on). These guys have followed my every move, supported and advised, encouraged and challenged me and continue to push me forward. Then there is the huge community of supporters who turn out to volunteer or cheer participants at events, you are amazing!

And what hasn’t been so high? Well, the low points exist too…

  • The DNF – this was always going to feature. Blowing up in Limassol was an experience I never want to have again. Not so much the DNF, but the effects it has on the mind. Looking back I’m fortunate. I came out the other side without a single scratch nor lasting damage. Others aren’t so lucky. It is however on my mind….
  • The Fear of injury – With so many races, each one exciting and challenging, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of something happening (like an injury) that will prevent me from getting to the starting line. That will be the worst. I can deal with what happens on the day, but not getting the chance to attempt something, that will mess with me….Every little niggle I feel is magnified and feels like a big deal.

    IMG_7052
    Running is hard!
  • The Enjoyment (or often lack of) – Running is hard. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. No matter the distance, your ability or objectives, running is tough. Even on those glorious days in spectacular surroundings it is hard and requires physical and mental strength. When I head out into a marathon or ultra, nothing is certain. Don’t get me wrong, I’m confident and go into races prepared, but that doesn’t mean they are easy or a sure thing. Anything can happen. But what doesn’t help is putting pressure on yourself. I’ve done this a few times now. I chase the times. That changes how you run. It saps the enjoyment out of a run. When you are running somewhere new, somewhere special, the last thing you need to be doing is staring at your watch all the time. This does mean there have been runs I’ve not enjoyed as much as I should. Which is a shame.
  • The psychological effect –  This one I’ll struggle to explain. But its the lasting impact of the DNF, combined with the fear. I realised recently when I unintentionally muttered the words “I’m afraid of being afraid”. A dawning moment. In particular the effect I’m feeling is related to not getting a sub 3hr marathon time in Cyprus. No shame in failing. I’m fine with that. But, now I’m afraid of trying again. What if it happens again? what if I’m not so fortunate next time around. What if I can never hit sub 3? Can I be bothered to train hard for it? Lot’s of ifs and buts, all of which are meaningless. What does running a set distance 3 minutes faster award me? Absolutely bugger all is what. I get to say I’m a sub 3 hour marathoner. It’s meaningless. But I’ll dwell on it for some time to come I’m sure.
  • The Planning – I’ve booked so many races that I can’t think of them. I need to look at what is coming up immediately. I need to prepare, I need to plan and I need to focus. At best I can look 3 races into the future perhaps. But even this is getting harder as the weeks in between are packed full of other fun runs I’ve planned. As such I don’t give each run the attention it deserves nor do I respect them as I should. I’ve the CCC quickly approaching (it’s now number 3 on my races coming up), but before then I first have to navigate 2 x 100km trail runs, 3 x runs I’m pacing/leading, a trip to Chamonix for some mountain training (which I think needs to involve a serious amount of elevation over 2 runs and a night run in two days) and hopefully a trip up to Northumberland. One race at a time, everything blurs into one. It’s surprisingly stressful.
  • The fear – again, more fear, and it probably isn’t the last I’ll say on this topic. I’ve mentioned being ‘afraid of being afraid’ and I’ve mentioned the training trip to Chamonix. These are related. Everyone rightly tells me to go to Chamonix and get some mountain running before the CCC. In truth, I’ve delayed it so long because I’m afraid. I know it will be tough, but I’m scared it will be so tough that I dwell on it too much. As opposed to realising when I’m out there doing the CCC and knowing my stubbornness will just drag me through it. Regardless, I’m going. I’ll have to deal with it now. Embrace the fear!

This is turning out to be a long old post….So what have I learnt over the past 6  months (I’ve re-written this after realising the “what I haven’t learnt” is the flip side to each!)?

Rain Gauge
Run with a smile!
  • I’m not to bad at this running malarkey. I’m getting faster and stronger and for the most part I run with a smile on my face. What this means though is that I am constantly looking for that next challenge. More isn’t always a good thing.
  • There is inspiration everywhere. Every person I meet on the trail has a story. Everyone has their experiences. There ambitions and goals. It’s so good to share these with people and be inspired by their journeys.
  • I’m a stubborn bastard. When it hurts I carry on. When I need to do something, I do it. I’ve always been this way only it has become blatantly clear to me through running that this is how I work. Pros and Cons I suppose. The downside of the stubbornness… Well, it means I’m ignorant. I don’t listen to my body. I sometimes push myself too much and risk things that are unnecessary.
  • I’m also a greedy bastard. I love a freebie. I love a good time on a run. If I like something I want more of it. Whether its more running, more flat coke or whatever. I am prone to over indulging. This couldn’t have been more evident than at the RTTK where I’d stashed a shoe box worth of food into my bag which I had to run with for the last 20 miles. Greedy Bastard!
  • I don’t do things correctly. I still don’t stretch or foam roll enough. I don’t get proper sleep. I don’t rest. Event the rest days I have tend to involve a couple of hours of cycling as part of my commute. My nutrition, hah, its all over the place.
  • Race tactics. I sometimes have them. Sometimes don’t and don’t always stick to them. I don’t know what to do, if anything, about this? I’m trying to adopt the ‘run how it feels’ approach, this requires a lot of listening to the body!
  • The Runner’s ‘Highs’ but also the runner’s ‘Lows’. Certainly a new experience I’ve come to acknowledge. We all so easily get the buzz from completing a challenge and finishing a race. The Adrenaline is pumping and the sense of achievement can be all encompassing. But when it wears off (and I’m afraid to say it will), the feeling you are left with can make you swing completely the other way. In the days following events I’m finding more and more that I’m on an emotional downer. It is weird, given that I have so much else to look forward to and get excited about, but that ‘hole’ that you are left with can suck you in way too easily. There’s a challenge ahead in how I adapt and learn to cope with it better. I think remembering your motivations for doing what you do will play a key part in the coping mechanisms we can put in place.

What else has been going on?

  • As I write these words I also recall I did a 30 day run streak in January. I’d forgotten about that until writing this post! That was something I found a lot harder than I expected. The motivation and desire to run all the time is a big ask. I find it easier to keep running once I’m moving, but doing it day after day for shorter distances is a whole different experience entirely. Respect those who have completed streaks and to those who have streaks going on.
  • Blogging! This has also happened. I started the year running. Now I write and run? I don’t even like writing. But. it has helped me channel my thoughts and reflect on what I do. Who knows where the blog will head, more kit and product reviews for sure.
  • Realisation of the financial impact of running! As I continue into the next 6 months the other thing I’ve realised is that this isn’t cheap! Besides running I’m becoming addicted to buying running kit. So many trainers, so many tops and gadgets and tech. It’s great. But it costs a lot! Each race entry, the logistics and planning, it all costs. I used to say that running was great because its free. It is if you don’t get “too into it”!

    Kit
    Running isn’t Cheap!

So what comes next? What has the second part of the year got in store for me?

Well, for a start, it gets hard now. My next three runs are all 100km in distance. The CCC is the big one which will put me on a whole new level in terms of experience and I’ve so much to try to learn before then (running when tired, sleep deprived, mountain running, running in the dark etc.). Then there is the Berlin marathon. Part of my original aim for the year was to run a good for age qualifying time at Berlin. Then I obtained a place in the CCC just two weeks before. So that needs re-evaluating. I’ve no idea how I’ll feel when I fly out to Berlin. How my body will feel or even my mental state. However, I now know a lot of people who will also be out there, so the atmosphere is sure to be electric! I also obtained that GFA time in Malta (wooo) only for the bastards at the London Marathon to then move the goalposts a month later (Pricks). So I’m not sure if that goal is even valid anymore? Either way, Berlin is now turning into a bit of a party event. I now know so many people going that its going to be a great time no matter what I decide to do on the day. Then the remaining Ultras are all going to be shared with other people too. Different groups, all social in someway, including heading back to the Brecon Beacons, this time with Jon, Tommy and Kieron. Who knows how that will turn out!!

What am I going to change heading into the next 6 months? Hhmmm… right now, not a lot! Things are working right now so I won’t upset the balance too much. I’m becoming more involved in the social and community aspects of running so there will be more ‘running’ and more planning (runs, routes, meetups etc.). That will serve me from a training perspective. I’m keen to be more focused on the enjoyment and help remove the pressures I place upon myself, and I don’t intend to book any more events for this year! I do need to start thinking about 2019 though…

So to finally stop mumbling on…Looking back, I find it hard to believe that in such a short space of time I’ve become so passionate and involved in running. Taking the time to stop and reflect is going to become essential as the journey continues. As I acknowledge my goals, whats been achieved and adjust to what can be achieved, I sometimes think I need to be slapped with a trout and brought back to the reality of life! So onward to the next 6 months. Onward on these trails as I get ready to embrace the adventures, memories and more friendships that are coming my way!

 

 

 

 

From smashing ‘it’ to smashing yourself.

So it turns out I’m not superhuman after all. This is my account of what happened when I was running in the Limassol Marathon, when I finished (not the race though!) with a Bang!

It is a piece that is just the beginning of looking back on what happened in Cyprus. Not my thoughts on a particular topic or theory, but a collection of my memories and resultant reflections on an very specific experience. I’ll get to the main event – it sets the scene – I passed out during the run. I didn’t finish and I don’t really know why…

So let’s tell the story…

Chapter   4:  The Awakening

I feel content. I feel like I smile as I open my eyes. It’s very light. There are faces looking down on me. They are smiling. They look friendly. I think they are saying “you are alright”. I try to get up but they ease me back and cover me with an emergency blanket. I tell them I’m hot and they pull it back. There are tubes in me. My arms. My left arm hurts. I can see it is strapped. A blood pressure machine. There’s a tube in my nose. I’m not smiling any more. My left ankle hurts. They offer me a drink. I get isotonic drinks. I need to pee. They ask me stuff. I can’t remember. They answer my questions. I’m in the medical centre. I’m at the finish line. I was in an ambulance before. Turns out I wasn’t abducted. Mmmh. Oh. That was some overreaction I had. Wait, I didn’t finish the race? Aaaw fuck bollocks. I have things in my left hand. It’s my headphones and my watch. I tilt my head. I see my hat also. I hold it. It’s wet. Soaked. I remember my stuff. My phone. I feel for my waist. My trusty Spi-belt. I feel the phone inside.

There are more questions. Some answers. I tell them I’m in Cyprus. Limassol. They smile wide. They come and they go. Checking and adjusting. Smiling. I keep thanking them. My ankle hurts really bad. I still need to pee.

I try to explain I was angry in the ambulance. I want to apologise. They laugh. They tell me to rest. I look around and see others like me, some have friends. Shit. Where are my friends? We have a confused conversation for a moment. They tell me not to worry and to relax first. My ankle hurts.

Eventually I take my phone and try to call Brigita. She was waiting. I don’t know what time it is. How long it’s been. Where they will be. I cant operate my phone. It’s soaking wet from sweat. My hands are wet. It doesn’t recognise my thumb print. I struggle to remember my passcode. I’m shaking. I don’t want to fuck this up

SMS
Trying to use the predictive text to type

. My music is still playing. I don’t want to kill the batter or lock the phone. Eventually I access it. Loads of apps initiate. I don’t know what is happening. It’s too much so I keep stopping and starting. I eventually call. She can’t hear me. I can’t hear her. It cuts out. I get a text saying to call her brother. I respond to the group. It takes a while trying to type. They get the message. They are on the way.

The doctors are concerned about me being cold. I’m in wet clothes. I can’t remember packing spares. They undress my t-shirt. They make me an emergency blanket poncho for me. I like these guys. I keep saying thanks. I relax a little. Nothing else I can do.

Chapter 1:
Mind Games

Sub 3 was possible. Do I build up to it over time? Limassol was perfect. No other races soon. Flat and fast. But it would be a dull course with mental challenges in the tedious straights.

For days leading up to the race I can’t stop thinking about the time, the possibilities. I don’t like it. I’m used to running with little pressure, no expectations. It has made me anxious. The day before the race my preparation was poor. Early flight. 4 hours in Paphos airport as a friend’s flight was delayed.

Despite everything on my mind, I felt I had to do it. I had my plan. My strategy. I’d based it on the progressions of the last two marathons. A 2:59 marathon would need an average pace of 6:50 min/mile. I thought I’d go for 6:20 pace for ten miles (5 mins in the bag for later) and 6:40 for the next 10 (another 3 in the bag for later). Then the last 6 miles I can drop to 7:50 or below and eat those reserve minutes up.

I had to go for it…

Chapter 2:

Print

Off I go. Top loaded strategy selected.  Playlist on. Run run run. Keeping pace with locals. Keeping in line. Pulling away from time to time. I’ll admit some lazy writing here, most of what follows is a shortened extract of my race review…

To plan I mostly stuck. What did I feel? Good. Strong mostly. Admittedly around mile 6 my breathing was all over the place. I had to concentrate to control it. I corrected it and powered on. This is probably one of the early warning signs I ignored. Hitting the 10 mile mark my pace had dropped to 6:30 for the last few miles. I decided to sustain this pace up until 13 miles to compensate.

There were water stations ever 3 miles or so. I hydrated at each. Taking a few gulps of water and cooling myself also. Shortly after 10 miles I collected Some gels also. I thought I’d need these this time. I took one immediately and the other around mile 18 I think. As I hit the long straight and back half marathon stretch of the course I felt in good shape. Hydrated and fueled. Settled into a rhythm. Focused on my goal. It was dull but I persevered. No real thoughts this time. The time-goal was dominating my mind. Eventually I was watching the average pace slowly increase with each passing mile. As long as they were in sync, a ratio of slowing the average pace 2 seconds per mile would even see me come home on time. I still had the contingency minute also as I’d planned for a 2:59. I still felt good. The last thing I remember is that I had about two miles to go. It would be tight for the sub 3. But I was confident. I was planning the last half mile, all or nothing attempt. And then…

Chapter 3:

The Abduction

I was in the back of a van. I have vivid memories of walking home with Daryl, Brigi, Bernardas and Yvette. Medals round our necks. Runners everywhere. Next thing I’m in this van. The men were scary. I was on a bed. They were doing stuff to me. Fuck. I freaked. I saw the door. I tried to get up. I was sure we were still in the street. They were holding me down. I was flailing my arms. Windmilling. “Who are you”. “Why are you doing this”. “where are my friends”. Fuckers. This ain’t gonna happen to me. They kept restraining me. Holding me down. I was powerless. I was angry. Scared. I kept trying to get up. There were two of them that I could see. They were bigger than me. One was near my head doing stuff. Putting things in my arm. The other one was holding me down. I didn’t like his face. He looked like an angry bastard. I wanted to punch him. I couldn’t move my arms. I tried to kick him. It didn’t work.

My aggression turned to scared compassion. “Please” I pleaded “let me go, don’t do this”. They didn’t respond. I hated them. Their silence. Why am I not strong enough?

Fuck you I thought. I’m stronger than you think. You can’t break me. Go on. Do what ever you intend to. I’ll take it. I tensed up. I lay there, resigned to holding out and taking whatever they dished out. I started shaking. I could feel stuff. Stuff going into me. Fuck you. I wanted to cry. My ankle hurt. I gritted my teeth. I took it. The tears were close. Don’t break now. It was so hot. So so hot. I was sweating so much. I’m tougher than this….

Chapter 5:

The Rescue

I’m laying in the medical centre. Worried about my ankle. Every now and then a medic checks. It takes a while to locate where I’m trying to explain. They ice it. I still need to pee. They tell me not to worry. How can I not worry about peeing myself in a medical tent?!

They smile and laugh at me. I smile and thank them.

I see Brigita and Bernardas at the tent entrance. I smile and wave. I thought of feigning recognition but I’m not that funny or quick. The medics ask if they are my friends. We all nod and smile. Brigi asks what happens. I don’t remember other than passing out. The medics tell me to get into dry clothes. Thankfully I’d packed a spare t-shirt. I take Bernardas’ fleece. I’ve no spare shorts. I wrap an emergency blanket like a skirt. Everyone laughs. We’ve got this. Daryl walks in. He has a beer. He’s had a massage. He laughs. I’m glad to see him. Some questions and answers. I need proper food. They say I can leave slowly. I stumble. Everyone laughs. This is funny. I guess.

I need that pee. The guys walk me to a toilet. It feels good. My ankle doesn’t hurt so much when I walk. But fuck me my toes do. Yvette turns up. She doesn’t know what happens. I’m confused. Daryl is worried. I’m pulling faces and getting weird with Brigi for giving me my phone. We go back to the medics for another check. They are happy. So off we go again. Almost how I imagined it. Only less successful.

Chapter 7:

The Aftermath

We wander for some food. Find a restaurant. Sit down and talk it through. Me. My issue. Other’s races. Then I throw up into my mouth. Shit. I can’t move out of this chair quickly. Yvette, with cat like reactions, grabs a vase from the shelf and I empty my stomach into it. Over and over. It’s just water. I’m empty inside. We are all laughing. How she reacted so quick I do not know.

It didn’t stop there. Some plastic bags and paper bags later and I was fine. The restaurant staff were good about it. Offering support and to call an ambulance if needed. Hell no!

5 chicken kebabs for the table later, mine hardly touched, we walk home. It took forever. I wasn’t the one to fall over though!

Space Cadet
Styling it out

That night we celebrated with beers and lemonades for me. It had been a great trip, an eventful day and one full of memories. I can’t be grateful enough for having such wonderful friends in my life.

Chapter 8:

Retrospective

So let’s process it all. What happened? What went wrong? Where do I start…, Dehydration, Sun/ heat, fueling, pushing myself too hard, loosing sight of my goals. They are all factors.

The only way I can peace this together is with the clues I have. I’ll never know for certain. All I know is:

  1. At somepoint I stopped. My body shut down
  2. My GPS provides some insight. I can see roughly where and when it unraveled…
  3. My ankle hurt. Does this mean I twisted it? A stumble? A fall? Tortured by the bastard paramedics (I jest)?
  4. I’ve no other pain. No bruises. No cuts. If I fell, there would be evidence right? The lack of injuries. Did someone help? Was I stumbling and someone assisted me to a stop?

So where and when did it happen?

My memories. I recall two miles left. GPS suggests it was closer to one mile when I slowed and stopped. What happened for that mile? It’s a little clearer. Maybe 20 minutes are unaccounted for, when I’m not running or moving.

What Happened
Was I stumbling? Did someone help? Was it a Benny Hill-esque escape from the ambulance? Did the paramedics have difficulty doing a 3-point turn?

25 mile pace Garmin

25 mile pace
So my heart rate increased around mile 24, my pace started to slow and I stopped moving at mile 25. My heart rate then spiked…

I’m still uncertain of many things. What I do know with hindsight though is:

  1. I’d lost sight of why I run. Malta changed everything. My previous blog on process efficiency and feeling connected was completely contradicted by my behaviour here. I wasn’t in tune. I ignored the warning signs – remember the breathing issues early on? The desire to fuel? The fact I was only thinking of time? – it’s very silly really.
  2. This is on me. My mind. I forced something I didn’t need. I wanted the glory. I wanted it done and out of the way. Truth is it isn’t in the way. It’s meaningless mostly. It will make for a good Instagram post for a day and a story to tell someone in the future with a smirk on my face. But, I need to be in that future to have the smirk. It’s not worth it. what difference does 3 minutes make in my life? Absolutely nothing, that’s what difference it makes.
  3. Also, The pace wasn’t sustainable. The fact I knew I couldn’t run 6:50 but I went for 6:20 and 6:40 for 20 miles. That’s a shit race strategy isn’t it! It seemed to make great sense at the time, but it’s ludicrous looking back. Comparing the times from Muscat, Malta and Limassol:

So lessons learnt.

Respect. Respect myself, the run, my body, the others (like medics, runners and spectators) around me on the course who don’t need egos like mine to deal with.

Focus on what you enjoy. It was a great weekend. But I added pressure and stress to those around me and took away some of that enjoyment. I put my plans and future at risk. I’ve bigger and better things to come and I shouldn’t be risking them for the sake of a few minutes.

Chapter 9:

Days Later.jpg

I’m overwhelmed with support and messages I’ve received. This is the good side of social media. Admittedly some people close to me made me a little worried so I have had a check up. Doctor thinks I’m fine. Some fine advice and the bottom line, listen to your body.

My toe hurts. It’s a suspected infection (I had some mighty impressive blistering going on!). I’m on the meds. Great. I’m too stubborn for help.

I’ve pulled out of a trail run. This upset me. I’ve been waiting to go on one with the NSL group for months now. But some great and wise advice was received from the community manager, where I’m clearly not listening to my body or my own words, saying things like ‘it hurts like hell’. He is the one who reminds me “you’ve got bigger things to come than this run”. Sense that got through.

I want to run. I’m not put off by the incident, which is good.

For a few hours during the mid week I’m angry at myself. I could have gone back to where I fell and hobbled the final mile, completed the marathon and gotten a medal (we walked for miles afterwards anyway!). This would have achieved absolutely nothing so i eventually move on from it. Some rest and I shall start again…

 

*** Big thanks to the Limassol Marathon Organisers, the medic team, the paramedics (also sorry for the aggression!) and Daryl, Brigita, Bernadas and Yvette. I’m so grateful for you looking after me!***

Limassol Marathon

Pre Limassol.jpg

When & Where:

Cyprus, Limassol, March 2018

Why I ran this course:

Daryl was going. Remember, when Daryl asks, I say yes… Daryl, Yvette and Myself signed up to the full Marathon, Bernadas to the Half and Brigita was on cheering duties and keeping us all in check.

The Course:

Dull. A lap of some industrial areas. Then straight along a major road up the coast. Then back. Flat though. The coast was nice (as expected). Whilst a good course for racing, I don’t think it provides any mental stimulus.

The Organisation:

Smooth. Slick. Professional. The team did a great job in preparing and advertising the event. The were good with correspondence providing plenty of information and were quick to respond to queries.

I avoided most of the experience though as a friend collected my pack for me.

Most of the volunteers were young school kids mostly. They did alright. Not hugely enthusiastic and I suspect bored of it all for later runners.

The Atmosphere/Support:

Mostly not there as it was an out and back course. Few congregations around major hotels and water points though. I presume around the finish it was a good atmosphere. The event village had a stand with DJs.

My Race:

The prep was per usual. Plenty of mileage covered. Physically I was there. A marathon (over two runs) the week before was easy although unnecessary. Mentally, I was a bit of a mess. Malta has changed things. My mind couldn’t get away from the thought that a sub 3 was possible. So many ways to approach this but after dwelling on it I decided I’d go for it. Get it. Get it out of the way and enjoy the rest of the marathons with out the pressure I was suddenly feeling here. So that’s what I decided to do.

My math (google and someone else’s math) told me a 2:59 marathon would need an average pace of 6:50 min/mile. That’s a big ask. Finding 3 mins off my last time across 26 miles is not  easy. The way I decided to find this was to go with a heavily top loaded strategy. I thought I’d go for 6:20 pace for ten miles (5 mins in the bag for later) and 6:40 for the next 10 (another 3 in the bag for later). Then the last 6 miles I can drop to 7:50 or below and eat those reserve minutes up.

So off I went. And to plan I mostly stuck. Early splits were a little over 6:20 but I wasn’t too worried. It dawned on me around mile 6 that my breathing was heavier/ more noticeable than previous runs. But it would be right. I was flying. I mostly kept pace with various groups of other runners. At one point forming a sort of peloton as we hid from the slightly oncoming (mostly side) wind.

Hitting the 10 mile mark my pace had dropped to 6:30 for the last few miles. I felt ok though so promised to try and make it up by sustaining this pace till the half way mark. A high five and cheer from Brigita and I was motivated through. Some gels collected too. I thought I’d need these this time. It was now time for the mental game. The long straight and back half marathon lay ahead. It was dull. No way around it. Head down. Plot on through. Clapping and cheering the few supporters out on the route and the elites coming back the other way.

I was struggling with my target pace but was hovering under the 7 min mile mark. I wasn’t bothered. I knew the miles were in the bag. I was watching the average pace slowly increase with each passing mile. As long as they were in sync, a ratio of 2 seconds per mile would even see me come home on time. Besides. I still had the contingency minute as I’d planned for a 2:59. All it meant was the last 6 miles would need a bit more effort is all.

And so it continued. Long. Straight. Pace watching. Slowing slightly each mile. I started to get overtaken around mile 22 but also overtook a few myself. I still felt good.

I remember noticing I had two miles to go. Annoying. Thought it would be one mile by now. I was around 7:30 pace. It would be tight for the sub 3. But I was confident. I knew we’d turn into the final stretch with about 1/2 a mile to go (I measured it on the way out) I told myself, get there, get passed the turn then you can check the watch. If it’s gone 2:56, go for it. Last half mile. If not, relax. You’ve got this.

I never got to check the watch. Or at least next time I did check the watch it was 11:30. I should have finished at 10:30. I was in a medical tent. Something had gone wrong. Very wrong. I must have passed out. I recorded my first Did Not Finish. I’m okay with that. Better than I thought I’d be. But now I need to figure out what happened….

The Goodies:

None for me! Well, apart from oxygen and fluids. I hear there were massages, freeze spray and beer. The medal looked good. The t-shirts you needed to buy. Pah

DNF

Time/Standings:

Time: DNF

Standing: DNF

 

 

What is a marathon experience really like?

“So you want to run a marathon?”

What is it like running a marathon?

You can read a lot of information out there about the preparation for a marathon in terms of the training plans and the race reviews. There is less information though around the mental preparation and what you can expect to experience leading up to, during and after a marathon. So I thought I’d try and share my experiences on it.

Hopefully this will be for everyone. For those of you out there contemplating your first marathon and entering the unknown. But also those of you who’ve already experienced it and can say ‘yep, I know what you mean’. Obviously this is biased. It’s based on me, my runs, my experiences, my mindset and approach to do things I do and how I react to circumstances I am in. It might not transfer to you at all. But maybe will provide some insight. On that note I won’t focus too much on the actual run itself. These will vary not just from person to person but location/environment and with so many other factors.

I will put the warning out now though, I’m not sure what direction this rambling might take. So it might contain too much information which you might not want to think about or know! And of course, don’t let any of this put you off!

So here’s a bunch on thoughts/things you encounter on your marathon journey…

  • The procrastination of signing up – you’ll probably dwell on signing up to a marathon. You’ll look at the website a million times, speak to a ton of people and probably make all sorts of lame excuses before finally succumbing to registering. It’s normal. I think. I procrastinate on each run over and over before I finally suck it up and pay the bucks to run.
  • The realisation of what you’ve done. The training and commitment required – its kind of a shock moment. The ‘oh fuck’ as reality kicks in and you realise you’re going to have to go through with this. You either train or you don’t. For me there is only one answer to that. Knowing each race is weeks and months of hard graft can be off-putting. Get your mind over it and get on with it! Find a way to enjoy your runs and the training becomes easier.
  • The loneliness of the training – The hard graft means long miles. Long miles means days out just running. Mostly that will probably mean running on your own. Let’s face it, its dull. Its boring. You’ll have to find your motivation to keep going through the tough times and crack on with your training. You might find yourself tagging extra miles onto other runs/races to achieve this.
  • The perceived failures along the way. Bad runs. Hangovers. Bad nutrition. Social plans. Niggles that play on your mind etc. I don’t get it right. I Just keep running. But so many things can set you back. So many things can get into your head and make you reflect less positively on a run or an experience. Don’t let it get to you, don’t let it stop you from trying again. Take it easy on yourself, our bodies are way more capable that we realise. An off-day is just that though, a day. There are many more days up and coming to be your focus and successes.
  • The stress of logistics. You might sign up to a local race for convenience. 7 out of 8 of the marathons I have run have been abroad. 3 of those outside Europe. The stress of arranging flights. Agreeing time off work. Factoring in all the costs. Figuring out when you can book everything. Timing the cheap deals right. Confirming how and when you can collect your race pack and what impacts on your plans this might have. Is it disruptive to your holiday (is it even a holiday?!)? It is all just stress. Stress is not good. I always end up booking the cheap flights and regretting it later when it means I have to get up at 4am to get to the airport and dash straight to the race bib collection!
  • The lack of sleep. Arriving at your destination at unsocial hours. Being tired all day. Not going to sleep early enough the night before. Yep. These are all consequences of the cheap flights in my . Don’t do what I do if you can’t handle that!
  • Travelling alone – it can be lonely but it gives you independence. Travelling with others is much more fun. It does however require compromise. Will you eat what you want? Stay/sleep where you want? Get up when you want etc. For me, for a race I want a place with a toilet/shower and privacy. You don’t want to be disturbed when you need to run so far. Same thing for local races. the hours leading up to the start can be lonely and overwhelming. You can start to feel anxious without the distractions of a familiar face to talk too.
  • The pre-race nutrition – At home you’ve got what you need. When you’re staying somewhere else you need to think this through. I’ve started taking porridge on “away marathons”. Not always do you have a kettle/hot water whatever needed to meet your plans. Dry granola it is then. Great… Wanting a coffee? Needing a coffee. Thinking of how to make yourself shit before you leave? (This is a big one right!…I neither want to carry that around with me nor risk a mud party in my shorts during the run).Yep. It’s not glamorous. And you’ve not even done anything yet. This is just your mind.
  • The logistics of getting to the start – yes, more planning is required. Fed up of planning yet? see a marathon isn’t just about running and training! Are there transport options arranged? How reliable is public Transport? Again, is it at a time you want? If you can’t get to the start on time you’re going to regret it! Plan ahead and get there early – As Jack Reacher would say “Get your retaliation in first”. No wait, that’s not the appropriate quote….”Plan for the worst and hope for the best”!
  • The hanging around at the start – The anxiety. The intimidation. The small talk. Watching the serious runners with their ‘weird’ warm ups. The awkwardness of the pre-arranged warm up that usually only a handful of people do. The fucking queues to piss. Not just the first time. But every time. Time before the marathon can really mess with your head. Be prepared for the mental battles whilst you wait. And yes, I know that might contradict getting there early. You’ll need to figure out which stresses you more – the anxieties of waiting or the stress of rushing…
  • Toilet breaks – Not understanding why you need to piss so much. And how you’ve held so much piss that it’s the 5th time and your breaking records each time! Nerves play a big factor here too. It ties into you pre-race nutrition though. Give your self time to drink loads hours before the race so your body can process it in time. You don’t want to be feeling the effects 5 miles into the run!
  • The waiting again. This time in the starting line up. More of the same. Hurry up already! Sometimes there are delays. Accept them, they are normally for very good reasons with participants safety in mind. Sometimes it can take you a looooong time to get over the starting line. Typically, the more mainstream the race, the longer the wait at the start line can be.
  • Getting angry and defensive as the elbow bashing begins as people want to find space further forward. Get the fuck out of my bubble before I headbutt you (I have never and would never do this. I like my face too much). Etiquette goes out of the window at the start of a race.
  • Suddenly realising you need a piss again. How?! Where?! Whyyyyyy!
  • Setting off. It’s usually a scramble. I’ve started enjoying it and heading out fast. Finding my space again. Probably shouldn’t. Can’t imagine it’s a wise technique. Get your elbows ready again, you might be boxed in!
  • You’re running now. Your thoughts are your own. But. You have to deal with them. Don’t think about pissing. Shit. Now I need a piss. Damn I thought about shit. Now I’m paranoid again. Did I take that Imodium? Did I take too many, will I ever shit again?
  • You’re probably thinking about what ever race plan you had (I never mentioned that. You probably stressed thinking about how you were going to run. What goal? What pace? What time?). You’ll either stick to it (good on you) or adapt it (still good on you. Recognising and listening to your body)!
  • Fight the Demons
    Fight those demons in your head!

    Dealing with the demons. Those fuckers in your head giving you all manner of thoughts. Work. Arrgh fuck off. Sex and people past, present, future and non existent. Wtf? Fuck off. Food. All the food! What’s waiting at the end? It better be good. Greasy burgers. Doughnuts. (Sub in you’re alternatives here). I don’t tell these thoughts to fuck off. But I don’t want them too early on. Water. Drinks. Where the fuck are the water stations? Oh. It’s only been 2 and a half miles. Will they have lids. They better not be cups. Or big bottles…

  • Water – Drinking…I like to think I’m a conscientious runner. I’m thinking ahead of each water station of how I’ll get the water. How I’ll empty half the bottle (so I don’t soak myself or twat myself in the teeth when I do) without causing slippery zones or impacting other runners around me. Why do I need a piss again. Still. Fuck off you little piss demon. I’ll sweat it out. I’ll show you.
  • Be aware of the carnage that can be the experience of each and every fuel station. remnants of water bottles, fruit, gels etc. all over the floor. People cutting you up etc. Look around you, be aware, they can be very selfish parts of a marathon. People aren’t always nice!
  • Pose for the Camera
    Strike a pose

    Oh look, a castle/tower/field/sea/ building/horse/bird/burger shop. Any distraction. I like to look around and try to absorb where I’m running.

  • I said I wouldn’t focus on the actual run. I’m on a roll so I’ll keep going. Pain. Oh yeah. That demon is a right bitch. Anything. Any little niggle becomes a big concern. You’re paranoid again. But wait. A camera. Suck it up and smile. Yeah baby.
  • What about the signs/direction information? They can fuck with you’re mind. There’s and army of demons in your head just for those. Are you a km or a mile person? Do you prefer to count up or down? They play tricks on you. I swear my watch said something different. Oh, I’ve only run an extra 0.32 miles since I last checked felt like it had been at least 4 miles.
  • And so it continues. For a long long time. You’re constantly fighting your thoughts. There’s heap of techniques people use (or wish they didn’t. I met a guy once who said he can’t stop counting when he’s running races. Not counting as in calculating his time/pace (I do this sometimes, usually getting it wrong) but just incremental counting. That must be horrifically
    BoldCleverAffenpinscher-max-1mb
    Hoooooooooooo

    annoying). Positive affirmations is one such technique. Repeating to yourself good things. Visualising your success. “You got this”, “going strong” “Hoooooooooo” like hacksaw Jim Duggen waving around his 2 by 4 in the early 90s. Yep. I’ve screamed that out loud in a race before. However you deal with your thoughts it’s got to be what is right for you. And only  you. What works for one runner won’t for the next. And I’m particularly in awe of those out there running longer times. It means you have to deal with that shit for longer than those running quickly. Respect.

  • Either way. Somehow you drag your butt to the finish. Brave face time. Strike a pose. The cameras are watching. Shit. Why did I celebrate like Alan shearer? I don’t even like him. Doesn’t matter. Usually the photographers have missed you or the geezer to your left is the one in focus and his arm has hidden your face. Or. And a pet hate. You have to pay for your photos and it’s covered with a huge watermark and a week later you get an email saying it’s £30 a photo. Fuck that (tip – it’s always half price a few weeks later. It’s not like they will do anything with them. Is all digital these days). Just to acknowledge the photographers – They do volunteer usually. They do give up a lot of time (not just on the day). It is a job for many of them. They usually are pretty great. I just don’t personally want to pay for photos these days. Cameras are everywhere. In everything. A few quid maybe. Double figures. Just nope.

Anyway. The race is done. (I did go on then didn’t I?!). What comes next?

  • Race goodies – It’s time to become a crazy. Time to hoard. The medal is usually first. Thanks. (Just a note. I always thank as many people as I can. Yes. Even the photographers I won’t pay. It’s so easy to raise a thumb or clap to the musicians. The volunteers. Those giving you water and food. The traffic wardens keeping you safe. Tiny Tim and the family who clapped you at mile 16. Those giving a medal and all the post race support. Don’t be a dick. Thank them. Acknowledge them. Seriously don’t be a dick!). Medal on. Maybe a photo taken. It’s time this shit got real. Free water? Yes please. I’ll have 8. Don’t worry. I can carry them. Isotonic drink? Sure. Put it under my arm pits. Food? Great. Just stand there, unwrap it and put it straight in my mouth. Oh what’s that, oranges. Shove that in too. Put some on top of my water while you’re at it. Thanks (don’t be a dick – always say thanks). I know, this could be controversial. My greediness and perceived ‘need’ could be at the expense of those finishing after me. I genuinely believe there is enough. I’ve never met anyone or read a review where they haven’t had enough stuff left when they finished. If someone does call me out on it though I will change. Besides. It’s more like 7 waters I take. Not 8. I joke. It’s more like 4. Ok ok. It’s whatever I can actually carry. I’m exaggerating here. But you’ll probably feel the same when you finish a marathon or have felt it before!
  • What comes next varies. You might have friends or family waiting. You might need to sit down. You might focus on stretching. You might head straight to collect your bag and change. Usually all of those need doing at some point.
  • The ecstasy starts to kick in as you realise you are done. No more running. You’re pleased with yourself or having a retrospective of something didn’t go so well. Either way, it’s happened. Forget it. Get over it. Something learnt for next time perhaps. Talk to the runners around you. Remember that woman who whizzed past you in the last mile – go applaud her. See that dude sitting with his head in his hands, check he is ok! You’ll get a great buzz from interacting with the other finishers around you.
  • Next comes more logistical stressing. This time it’s unplanned and you’re unable to focus. What do you do now? Suddenly you might not need that piss anymore. You can sweat it out after all. You might need that shit though. Your bowels have been swoshing around like a washing machine for the past few hours. It’s not going to be pretty. I once got locked in a portaloo after a race. I couldn’t contain it. I had to go. Turns out there was no water and while I was in there they’d locked it to fill it up (it was a massive trailer type toilet). That was fun. Not. I eventually got out.
  • Usually I’m walking after the race. Either to transport or the accommodation. It will be slow. You’ll walk little zig zags as you’re not paying so much attention or not able to function as you normally would. Your legs might giveaway from time to time too. You get there. Eventually.
  • Now what? Your post run routines are yours. Mine include (1) finishing all that’s left of my scavenger hunt (2) taking that long overdue shit (3) showering (4) washing my kit (5) trying to sleep (never actually sleeping). If I’m good I might also stretch. That will hurt though so I usually don’t.
  • Surprisingly the shitting can take a while. Not because you can’t or because you can’t stop. But because you sat down on the throne and now can’t get off it. You didn’t think of that did you?! No lie. That’s right up there with steps/stairs as the hardest thing for me after a run. I once almost pulled a sink off the wall trying to (literally) pull my ass up off the toilet.
  • Showering is fun and welcomed. All that sweat is now dried salt on your skin. You’ll be feeling irritable. But for me its not the only washing needed. Washing the clothes. Particularly this will apply if you’ve traveled far for a marathon. They will stink. No matter how you seal them that stink will affect your whole bag. I’d much prefer the damp smell of part dry clothes than the combination of sweat and spilled isotonic drinks/food. My tip. Wear them in the shower. Wash with the clothes on first. Best bit is you stay in the shower longer too.
  • Time for some rest. You’ll have all these promises of what you’ll do afterwards. Go meet people. Some sight seeing. Doing something. Give up on them. You won’t feel like it. Your energy levels are spent. Try to rest a little. You’ll appreciate it afterwards. Be prepared to just lay there though. As tired as you are you are probably wide awake. The different positions you lay in will also hurt like hell and keep you awake too! You’ll slowly start to realise where you’re hurting.

That’s the glamour of a marathon experience. Despite all that. Don’t be put off. The feelings, sense of worth, achievement, belief, all the science-y stuff that makes you go “whoop whoop” etc. all far outweigh the negatives. Those demons can’t beat you. But you can pound them like the tarmac beneath your feet….

Feeling Connected

Listen quote

I’ve never approached running with the ferocity and determination that so many do. Sticking to plans. Focusing nutrition and cross training etc. I just like to run. I don’t complicate it with thinking about the mechanics and science of it all. Normally my runs are disjointed in some way. Reactive maybe. Something happens. I feel something. I do something. Very process driven like how my mind works. But an intermittent or broken process with little control to it.

2018 has seen a change for me though. Not intentional. But like the old adage of riding a bike or learning to drive, something has ‘just clicked’. The recent Malta marathon was the moment of realisation for me.  So where do I begin attempting to translate a ‘feeling’ or suspected biological connection into some words  on a blog? I’ll go for a recap of the marathon in Malta and see where that leads…

I went to Malta conflicted. I wasn’t really bothered by the race. It was a tick box in my 12 month challenge. Neither exotic nor intriguing to me. I’d never had a strong desire to visit (its lovely by the way!). There are/were bigger races in the year to focus on and I was here alone with no one to discuss my thoughts with. So I was half-minded to just run and enjoy. My goals said “be a tourist”. I failed that. Sort of. Besides that I was on the back of a pb at muscat. A big pb. One where I ran sections faster than I thought I could. There was a subconscious target now. I knew what I could do. To not replicate it would be to not perform as I now know I could. And I’m stupidly competitive with myself. No offence, I couldn’t give a shit about competing with you or anyone else. Why should we? Be the best version of you that you can be. If that happens to make you the best in the world, even better! But you have to beat yourself first to achieve that.

I arrived at the start line and deep down I knew I’d race myself. I knew I’d struggle to resist. And that’s exactly how it went!

The one conscious decision I’ve made with running this year is to enjoy it more. Embrace

Enjoying the views
Enjoying the sights and not focusing on the road or whats up ahead

the runs. Look around and absorb the places I run. You see a lot over a marathon distance. Or you will if you take time to look around and see your surroundings. Maybe this has helped me? I’m running with a smile. Free of the time pressures (sort of. I know that contradicts the competitiveness in me). And that’s how Malta went. I was constantly looking around and enjoying the scenery. I’m so glad a few photos have captured me in this moment. I recognise now that I’m seeing what’s around me.

In addition to that though, I feel more. I feel me. I feel what I’m doing. What I’m feeling. What’s happening and reacting. I’m able to say ‘this feels good’ that whatever I’m running is comfortable (or not). Assessing whether it’s sustainable and making decisions on the back of it. I’m forming plans on the go. Saying I’ve got this, maintain this or change it. It’s now like my body and mind are on the same process. As an aside. I love processes. Process maps  (I’m tempted to draw one here!).  The inputs are my feelings. My muscles. My tendons. My nerves. Sending signals to my mind. Of course they are. This is how the body works. It’s not new. But being in touch with them and acknowledging them is new for me. I’m hearing what my body is saying. “ your breathing is off. You are panting”.  “There is a hill coming up”. “You’re struggling with this pace” etc. I feel I’m now able to register that and quickly process it into an “ok, listen up, here is what we are going to do about it”. That’s the action or workflow in my process. And, my body is listening and reacting back. Before I’d look at my watch, notice the pace isn’t what I want, say to my body step it up. And then, nothing. I can’t.  I’m either too far gone or it takes too long to change, by which point something else has happened. Now it’s almost instantaneous. My mind says step it up, my lungs take in the air, my legs do the work. Outputs. Boom. Input, action, output. A perfect functioning process. A cycling loop of feedback and continuous improvement (I’m mixing work with pleasure here. Such a geek). As the saying goes “If you listen to your body when it whispers, you won’t have to hear it scream”. And it’s not just about ‘stepping it up’. It’s both ways. Hearing that it’s too much and figuring out what is better. What’s more sustainable over the long term. It is after all ‘ a marathon not a sprint’. Such cheese. I don’t apologise.

And whilst this is going on, I’m aware. Aware not just of me. But aware of the run. The surroundings. My smile. I’m running strong and happy. Above all else I’m smiling. I’m embracing my runs. I’m learning. I’m becoming a part of them. I’m not just someone ‘doing’ a run. It might click for you. It might not. But, find away to obtain your connection and become a part of it.

A weekend of running – Part 2 – Cool Cats Run, Eastbourne to Brighton

Seahaven

6:30am and the alarm clock is buzzing. As they day dawns, so does the realisation that I know get up earlier on weekends to go running than I do in the week for work. What has happened here?! I’ve plenty of time before I need to catch a bus so I leisurely have breakfast, prepare my bag and start to wake up. I’ve time to spare and I’m waiting outside for the bus when I realise I haven’t got my running hat. I need my hat! I don’t run without a hat anymore now. I find the wicking of the sweat, the sun protection and generally the keeping the hair out of my face a bonus and one less thing to think about when running.

I run back up to the flat (fortunately the bus is a moment from my front door, grab it and am back down waiting with a minute to spare. The bus doesn’t come. Shit. It must have been early. Now I’m touch and go whether I’ll make the connecting train. Great. Morning stress and panic that wasn’t necessary.

I do make the train on time (thankfully quiet Sunday morning roads!) and walk the carriage until I find the noisy bunch of excitable runners dressed similar to me. Salomon hydration packs are everywhere! I join up with a few familiar faces (Jana, Yvette, Giffy, Suzanne and Gwyn (the yappy dog!) and meet some new faces – Maggie, Stefano, Vanna and Jakub. We’ve an hour on the train until we reach Eastbourne. Jokes and laughter are shared and the customary ‘Before’ black and white headshots taken.

cool cats before

We bounded off the train and straight into the run as soon as we left the station. Stefano helped me set up the navigation on my Suunto Ambit3 as, once again, I’d failed to even attempt to understand this watch and how to use it. I’m still struggling to come to like it. To embrace it I’ll need to step away from the familiar convenience of my Garmin Forerunner, and I’m just not willing to do that yet.

Cool Cats
Mama Cat Leading the way!

The first stretch of the run is down to the coast and along the sea front to the South Downs Way path at Beachy Head. I remember this from a previous run, it’s a steep incline to start but it rewards you with fascinating views of the Coast and Eastbourne. We could see the end goal, Brighton, in the distance. A mere shadow on the Horizon. It looked a long way off…

Following the coastal path we ran towards Beachy Head Lighthouse before hitting the Birling Gap and Seven Sisters – series of seven chalk cliffs on the English Channel. The sun was shining bright and the light on the white cliffs was mesmerising. As too were the sudden drops and ‘up and unders’ we’d run for each cliff. The Wind was blowing strong and we were struggling to speak to each other as there was no protection given we were on the coast. So we all followed up and down the cliffs, walking where we had too. Some of us having more fun than others – Yvette rolling down a hill being a prime example. A heap of photos were taken, it would be foolish not to record these memories!

As we progressed further along the coast, the group split into two and we lost sight of a few of the runners. We needed to loop inwards at Cuckmere Haven (as the tide was in enough to prevent running along the shore) and around the Cuckmere river via the road. As we reached the coast again and started to climb the hills, the group reformed and off we went.

Action shot

It was around this time, after a few hours of running, that many of us were starting to feel the effects of hill running in the wind. It’s tough. Naturally with it come the aches and pains and the niggles as well as those demon thoughts that start to beat you down. It isn’t a nice feeling. My own physical complaint being a bout of sciatic on my left side. I had it once before and it flared up earlier in the week. I’m not sure why, either as a result of over training or being knocked off my bike one night. Occasionally I could feel the pain depending on the angle my left foot was making as it hit the ground.  A few of the group decided they’d power on until Newhaven and then leave us to carry on. They’d meet us in Brighton later for the journey home.

For me, the run across Seaford was a right bitch. After hills and trails, running on the concrete path, flat, with a clear view into the distance, was a struggle.  I was so glad when we reached New Haven. Again the group had separated a little but reformed at Newhaven station where we said good bye to those stopping and welcomed David who joined for the next 20km.

Cool Cats on Trail

Food was consumed as we strolled up Fort Hill for yet more amazing views, and to welcome back the wind. The next stretch of the run has become a blur for my memory. I was in and out of phases of joy and phases of darkness, wishing the run would end. I get this quite a lot on long runs and presume so many others do too. You find a way to block it out and keep moving forward. It’s times like this where it is great having company even if you do not talk to those around you. Taking comfort in knowing you are not alone and there are others there to keep you motivated.

Somewhere near Peacehaven we were joined by Sarah. She was running into Brighton and recognised a few faces from some of the North Face’s Never Stop London Trail sessions. She joined us for the last stretch. It was great talking to Sarah as we ran, she pointed out various points of interest to me and gave me an insight into some of the history of the coastal path (her parents live in Brighton).

Passing Saltdean we headed down onto the Undercliff Walk. Like before we were once again on flat, hard concrete ground. A clear view of Brighton in the distance. We could see the Marina which was pretty much the end goal. Sand being blown in our faces, it was head down and power through. The end was near. We hit the Marina and carried on down to the Pier. Regrouping at the Aquarium. We were done. Smiles and hi-fives all around.

Brighton Pier

A few of us headed off for some Fish and Chips (had to be done!) whilst the rest headed to the pub to meet those already there. We all then headed off to the train. The ‘after’ headshots were taken and the journey home filled with laughter and reflection. Next stop – Hot Bath!

Thanks Cool Cats! (and credits to them all for the photos!)

A weekend of running – Part 1 – London Burger Run Feb 2018

Last month I joined the LdnBurgerRun, a social group of runners organised through Instagram running for a burger. Simple concept. Great concept. I had a great time and was definitely going back for some more.

I’d met Tommy a few times now and he was looking for some support with the group. I’d let him know I’d be happy to help where I can and he asked me if I could pace one of the groups for the February run. Abso-bloody-lutely. I was to pace the 9:30 – 10:00 min mile group along with Kirsty who I’d met at the last run. We’d be popping out 13 miles on the way to Byron Burgers.

Leading up to the day I’d been banging on about it to so many people. In the end a number of mates joined me for the day – Alex (who came to the last one also), my flat mate Nathan (who doesn’t do long distance), Yvette from NSL/Cool Cats, Nick from my last Run With Dai and Mike – who’ll soon be joining me for a run! It was set to be a good day.

Alex is balls-deep in his training for the Brighton Marathon now and was looking to up his distance this weekend. 20miles was his target. I told him I’d join him for 5 miles before the run (he was going to join the faster pace group who would cover 15 miles on the day). The night before I plotted out a route from Stockwell to Hyde Park to get us those 5 miles. We were prepped. It would be an early start (me getting up at 5:30 to get to Stockwell in time to do our 5 miles before the burger run began).

My neighbours were having a party that night. Me and Nathan had agreed to go so we popped in to say hello and have a chat. Not quite what we were expecting as the flat (currently in between tenants) was set up for a bit of a rave! Turns out the owners like a bit of a dance and a party and there was a lot of time spent ‘mixing the tunes’. It was a little odd, as there were less than 10 of us there. We couldn’t really talk with the music so loud but either way tried to enjoy ourselves before making the excuse (valid!) to leave. Whilst we went to sleep the music continued, Nathan’s room vibrating to the beats. Ha, he’d be a barrel of laughs in the morning!

an-early-start.jpg
Amazing sky as the day was dawning.

Morning came and I was up and out to meet Alex. We headed off chatting all sorts of shit, looping to Vauxhall and into Battersea park before heading through Chelsea to Hyde Park. As we cooled off outside the café in the morning chill, the numbers of runners started to arrive. And arrive they did. The turn out this month was huge. There must have been close to 50 runners from all backgrounds and experiences. It was set to be a good day!

Jon (the other face behind the group) led us in a warm up and gave an overview of the route. There would be hills. This caused a few sighs and groans in the group, but a big smile from me. To be fair, chatting to Jon in the week and having downloaded the route, I knew what was to come!

Everyone moved to their pacers and we were set to go. Sadly Kirsty wasn’t able to make it on the day, so Tommy joined with me to herd the group around. This meant one thing – Party Group! With his speaker on and selection of 90s hits pumping, we set off.

Starting out
Leaving Hyde Park with big smiles

This was only the second time I’d used my Suunto and followed a pre-planned route. On the way in the morning I had to google how to set up the navigation and breadcrumb trail. I might have been a tad unprepared! On the whole the route was easy to follow. Given the granularity of the breadcrumb trail, there were a few wrong turns in Regents Park and Hampstead Heath. But we were broadly on track.

The first part of the run saw us leave Hyde Park, up into and around Regents Park before regrouping at Primrose hill. The first 4 miles were done, the first hill conquered and the first photo stop posing completed. The next section of the route saw us head through Camden and up Belsize Park towards Hampstead Heath. The long, gradual stretch of uphill running was starting to take its toll on the group, but they all powered on like champs! We cut over into Hampstead Heath and veered slightly off the track, but, there were muddy paths we could wind along in the general direction needed. Result. Hills and mud. I was smiling at least. We took a little detour out at the top of the Heath to stop at Kenwood house for a much needed toilet break. Some snacks consumed and off we went again, heading towards Parliament Hill where we found all the other pace groups already waiting. Somehow along the way, probably with the few wrong turns and detours, we’d ended up ‘at the back’.

Primrose Hill regroup

A few moments and more photos later it was time to get moving again. Thankfully we had now conquered most of the hills and it was simply a matter of the long straights back down towards Soho.

The rain was starting to fall but the tunes were still pumping. There was a sudden sense of urgency from some of the group (combination of the music and the desire to bet the rain I think) and the pace increased somewhat – we were running some 9 min miles. To those who felt this increase more than others – my apologies! I was struggling to contain it at this point. Something I’ll improve if I get the chance to pace again!

As we were approaching Tottenham Court road we had some wildly varying distances covered on the various GPS devices runners had. My own was already saying we’d covered the 13 miles. I was pretty sure our detours weren’t that substantial! Either way, the group soldiered on. This wasn’t an easy ask for those already running further than they had before. Big respect to you all for powering through.

As we reached Piccadilly Circus, a few of the group carried on for a few more miles. The rest of us headed to the restaurant to warm up, consume some (loads) of calories and chat with everyone else. The burger was filling and the milkshake intense. I was done. I couldn’t move.

LdnBurgerRunners
A huge turn out of enthusiastic runners!

What another great day of running and meeting people. So many new faces, so many new stories shared. It’s exciting and inspiring to hear about all the adventures and journeys people are on. There were those casual runners, those training for marathons (so many doing London, Brighton and Berlin this year!) and those training for the insane – like 100 miles in the Florida Keys! Great to talk to everyone and promises to chat more in future to those I didn’t spend much time with!

As I relaxed that evening I started to wonder, how have I ended up at the stage where a 13 mile run on a Saturday becomes a 20 mile run as standard?! I just cannot say no to running!

Run Streaks

I learnt something…

One early influence on my running thoughts was Murakami’s “What I think about when I think about running”. I can draw so much from his attitude and perspective, and in particular his “rule” that, he doesn’t have to run everyday, but if he doesn’t run one day, he must run the next. I like the structure yet flexibility this approach brings. I never adopted it though and, running everyday certainly never crossed my mind before.

You only need to spend a few moments on social media to see the abundance of runners completing a run streak. “Run Every Day” (RED) for some cause, for some defined period (run every day till Christmas, run every day January being two recent examples) can be seen in so many posts and pictures. Honestly, I’m not sure I ever got the craze. The why? The challenge? The motivation? And so on. Then you see some of the crazies – those runners who seem super-human like Ron Hill and Jon Sutherland. Mind blown!

I saw these challenges popping up on my daily feeds and my thoughts were always “nah”. Not for me. Then, somehow, I found myself immersed in my own run streak. Wait. What. How did this happen?!

Have a look at my Run With Lydia & Louise – I met these two women who were running every day for 100 days. Nut bags! But, they inspired me. I was mighty impressed. Running with them and getting to know them started to enlighten me a little to those ignorant questions I hadn’t answered. In their case the “Why” was partly to do with charity awareness – FORWARD – check their blog for more info. Also partly for their own sense of achievement and personal reasons. Their companionship though was driving them forward, keeping them running, keeping them motivated. I started to get it, a little bit. I could understand some of the difficulties they’d encountered with raising awareness, getting others to join them on runs etc. I too had seen that. Being the ‘weirdo’ sending messages out on social media to strangers. Most get ignored or never acknowledged. If I’m lucky some strike up a conversation and there is a glimmer of hope for a meet up and run one day. Nevermind enticing your friends out for a run. Most just tell you straight up to do one and jog on (you usually know which friends will actually come out for a run). Anyway, I’ve gone off topic… I was impressed and inspired right. Nothing more. No desires here to do a run streak still. Nope, none at all.

Then I hear that, on day 75 of her run streak, Lydia has gone and got herself injured being an absolute hero and trekking up K2. Nah. She didn’t, that’s not how she got injured. She tried to jump over someone doing the plank or something. Who’s the plank now, doh! Sad though, she’d been forced to end her streak, her time was over, for now.

I can’t really explain why, but, my first response to Lydia was “what if I pick up your last 25 days?”. Classic jumping in with two feet there. I’d not thought this through. But, she was delighted. So I stuck to my word….

Besides the every day part, there was one simple rule. It must be a minimum of one mile. Pah. I eat miles I thought. That’s not even running. What’s the big deal. I’ll be doing what I usually do and running frequently, so it’s not even really 25 days, it’s just the days I wouldn’t normally be running that I need to run. That was how my mind processed it. That’s all I need to do. I’ve got this. So yeah, I’ll do it.

I had one little concern – this was less than two weeks before I would fly out to Oman for the Muscat Marathon. The thought of running before flying, after the marathon and then again when I return to the UK didn’t exactly appeal to me. But it’s just a mile. Whatever. I’ve still got this.

And so it begun. Giving it a little thought and thinking out the days, I’d already run the day before, and the also the day I’d agreed to start, so the first two runs were done. I was underway, even better, mentally I’m starting on day 3.

Day 5 was the first time I couldn’t really be bothered. I didn’t want to run. So I dragged my arse out for that single mile. It felt fake. I didn’t even put my running kit on. There was no real effort involved and I was just going through the motions. Conveniently, leaving the house and looping round the nearby lake was bang on a mile. That will be useful. Another day done. And so the journey continued.

Factoring in runs around work and social life was another challenge, a more obvious one. I’d started attending some community-based workout sessions on Mondays and Tuesdays, I guess I could have recorded the miles covered in those session (about 2 miles each night I think) but that felt wrong to me. So a 6am run before work it would be. These would often also be 1 mile efforts which seemed irrelevant and were very much a tick-box exercise for me. 10 mins running followed by the hour commute on the trusty bike. I don’t think I even sweated on these runs. Certainly my times were slow and I just wanted it done. But, I kept doing them.

Day 8, time to fly to Muscat… the first day was easy, the flight was at night so I’d run at home as usual. The next few days would need a little planning though. With some adventures planned and a few hundred KMs to drive on Thursday, a run at night before bed was going to have to be the way to do it. So, exhausted from a lack of sleep and hours of driving I did a quick 10 mins on the streets of Muscat. Angela joined me to flex the legs following the day’s excursions.  Day 9 done.

Friday, Day 10, the run was the main focus this time, it was marathon day. I’d probably covered more time and distance on this day than most of the 25 days combined. Saturday, similar to Thursday would need some planning. This time a mile in the early hours before we left for our trip to Wadi Shab. Another mile and Day 11 done. Sunday, arriving back into the wet gloom of London after a few days of glorious heat was hardly inspiring. Time for yet another single mile around the lake. Yawn. And so it continued. Another week of little runs before work. Occasionally I’d feel motivated to push it to 3 miles or so. Can you tell I wasn’t feeling the token 1 mike runs?

I tried to keep my own plans going, the odd training run, running with Louise again, a few ‘Run With Dai” runs included and some great weekend escapes to trails all helped me run everyday in a more enjoyable sense. The rest of it became a formality.

So here I am, writing this with 25 days done. My run streak complete and the 100 day challenge reached (albeit split over two people) and 101 days for Louise! And what do I feel now?

Different. Empathetic for sure. I’ve learnt something valuable, to me at least,  appreciation. I’ve had my eyes opened and I see and respect the challenge now. It’s not time nor distance, pictures nor recognition, kudos nor comments. None of that. It’s something I already knew too well but had blocked out, as I do – the mental challenge of running. The hardest part, finding that motivation. Motivation to push out those negative thoughts. The ones that put a little excuses before you. focusing your mind and saying ‘I’m doing this’. I’ve got this and I enjoy it. To keep going, keeping that streak alive. That challenge is something else. Harder I’ve found that running for hours on end. With long distance there is the benefit of recognising that you have to keep going because the finish  might be closer than the alternative. Or something, or someone,  is waiting when you do finish. There’s nothing waiting at the end of a streak. Satisfaction and achievement perhaps, but nothing you can touch, nothing that you can easily channel and visualise to turn into that motivation to keep going. I don’t think so anyway. I’ve learn this now and feel I understand it to some degree at least. It only increases my respect for those out there on a run streak of some form. Fair play to you. You’re smashing this.

For me, I’m done. I don’t want to continue. I don’t know where it would stop if I did. I’ve done what I came to do and I’m happy. And I hope it’s helped Lydia and Louise. I hope its contributed in someway. How they did 75 days and 101 days I’ll never know. But my streak is over. 25 days and out.

In the end my run streak saw me cover around 150 miles, make 2 new friends and come away a more enlightened person.

run streak
A varied set of distances covered!